The Silent Killer
We listen to the advise of experts to protect our home and families from things that can harm them, even kill them. One of those deadly silent killers is radon while another is carbon monoxide. Radon, an invisible radioactive gas that seeps into homes through foundation cracks, causes 100 times more deaths than carbon monoxide poisoning, says the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. We learn that there are ways to deal with these two deadly problems. We place detectors in our homes that will alert us to the impending danger. Those detectors have saved many lives while homes without them, have sometimes had fatal consequences. As families have slept, the gases have filled the homes gradually eliminating healthy life giving oxygen with deadly odorless gases, causing the human body to begin to shut down, go into coma and sometimes die from lack of good clean air.
There is a silent killer lurking in many homes and churches across America. Daily it does its task of destroying the plans and purposes of God in the lives of God’s people. Like the deadly gases, radon and carbon monoxide, it seeps into our lives when we least expect it, and begins gradually doing its deadly work. This silent killer begins with a casual remark, a careless word, an undeserved jab or even a thoughtless deed. It results in cracks in our clay vessels that cause our love to leak out and the painful killer to seep in. What is it? Unforgiveness! You may lightly say…”Oh, but that’s not my problem!” Unfortunately, it’s everyone’s problem. In our own personal lives, it colors our view of life. In the church, it affects everyone with whom we rub shoulders. It has been known to destroy marriages and families, as well as dividing churches and ruining ministries. Most pastors have at one time or another heard someone say, “I’ll NEVER forgiven them!” They say they are Christians, but the pain of the deadly silent killer has already tainted their soul. They forget everything they ever learned from the Bible and make the pain of the past more relevant, more significant. They unconsciously choose to never forget, and in doing so, they also never put it behind them.
How To Clear the Air.
Forgiveness clears the air in our spiritual lives. Refusing to forgive invites poison that pollutes our souls. But how can we forgive those who have hurt us in such awful ways. How does a child forgive the incest? How does a woman forgive the date-rape? How does a mother forgive an abusive husband who damages not only her but her children? How does a wounded Christian forgive abuse of another Christian? It is not impossible. Just as you choose to love and trust, you can choose to forgive.
1. Recognize that the anger and frustration you feel comes from a moment of hurt that needs attention. Sometimes we tend to sweep it under the rug and ignore it, hoping it will just all go away in time. Yet the wound continues to fester.
2. Remember that others who may have hurt you are also vulnerable to hurts and may have been hurt in the past. Abusers often were abused themselves. When you see them as victims, it creates compassion rather than hate.
3. Forgive yourself. Perhaps you did something for which you blame yourself, resulting in the problem. We all make choices, some good and some bad. We learn from our mistakes. A baby learns to walk by falling down and getting up again and again.
4. When you can, restore relationships. Some have a habit of ‘snipping’ others out of their lives. Each person who wounds them in any way gets ‘snipped’ from their list. A story was told of a woman who did this all of her life. She began with many friends, but on the day she died, her family expected a large crowd at her funeral, only to be surprised when only the immediate family came to pay their respects. All the old friends of the past knew they had been snipped out of her favor years before. How sad! When we ostracize family and friends, we are expressing our lack of forgiveness. How sad it is to see families where parents and children no longer speak to each other, or churches where whole groups leave because of a lack of forgiveness. Practice reconciliation.
5. Take the Initiative. Be the bigger person and look beyond the faults of others. Don’t let the past keep you in the past. See the future God sees. Let your forgiveness build a bridge over troubled waters. Launch your lifeboat and watch what God will do. Tell your abuser sincerely… “I forgive you….” and watch them bend over backwards to make things right. Guilt will do that. Use your experience to help others be free from the past and the pain.
6. Remember what the Bible teaches! Forgiveness is Biblical. Jesus always practiced forgiveness instead of condemnation. He told the adulteress, “Go and sin no more.” He told the Father “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” One key verse we must lock onto is found in Matthew 6:14-15 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. According to this verse, we cannot expect God to forgive us if we fail to forgive others who sin against us. Our eternal destiny depends on our willingness to forgive. Even Paul taught the principal of forgiveness. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3:13) Jesus sets the example for us all. Just imagine how many of us would not make heaven our eternal home if we failed to forgive.
I love the Message Bible version of Psalm 130:3 If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings, who would stand a chance? As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit, and that's why you're worshiped. Our God chooses deliberately to forgive...and forget. Unlike God, it is difficult for us to forget. While me may not forget, we CAN forgive!
7. Forgive with eternity in view. Life here is not all there is. We are planted on this small blue planet for just a few brief years. In those years, we are given opportunities and choices. We can become better or bitter. We can cut and snip, or glue and paste. We can give Satan a foothold or allow Christ to be the center of it all. Ask yourself these questions: “In eternity, when I stand before the Lord, what will matter the most? Will it be my anger or my forgiveness? How will it affect my eternity?” One person who learned to forgive put it this way: When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward. (T. Perry) Have you stopped in your tracks, paralyzed by the past? Your attitude will affect everything around you. It will cause you to be angry….and your children will be just like you. But the moment you forgive, you break the chains that bind you to the past, and set your steps moving forward again into freedom. God cannot use your potential when it is bound in unforgiveness.
Joseph in the Egyptian jail had every right humanly speaking to be a hateful bitter man. His own brothers had sold him into slavery and deceived his father into thinking he was dead. His employer had him thrown in jail on false charges of rape. His own cell mates forgot all about him after he had helped them. But GOD...had a plan bigger than anything Joseph could have imagined! God’s plan was based in Josephs attitude. He never allowed bitterness to take root. He let God take the lead and God used Joseph for the saving of his family and the nation.
8. Forgive with a Helper. There are many things that the Christian often discovers he cannot do on his own. He needs help. Jesus sent us a Helper. It is the Holy Spirit. He comes along side to speak into our lives, to guide us, to give us boldness, to make us more like Christ. He comes into our lives at salvation, and the moment we receive God’s forgiveness, He is there to help us forgive others. He is the ‘wind’ that blows away the poisonous gases in our spiritual lives. He fills us with His Presence. He points out to us all of our failures so we can let Him help us each day. He convicts us of our sin so we can see His forgiveness. He prods us to reconciliation with God and others. He is the potter who mends our broken vessels, then fills us to overflowing with Himself.. He lifts us above the circumstance, above the past, and gives us a hope and a future. (Jer 29:11)
What about you? Have you forgiven? Are you forgiven? Will you choose to forgive? I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Phil 4:13: . Remember these words...Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Cor 5:17 Put the old ways of unforgiveness and vengeance behind you. God wants to give you a new day. Let it begin right now. Let the Holy Spirit be your ‘unforgiveness detector’. When His warning sounds, take immediate action. Forgive completely and immediately. Make forgiveness your habit and change your world! Let the wind of the Spirit blow away the silent killer of unforgiveness in your life today. J. Johnson
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